The bricks in my wall are as old as my thoughts.
Its as high as my esteem,
As strong as my will!
It's got a life of its own;
The little banyan, tender though,
but I know it will grow.
The birds those chirp,
the squirrels those hop.
The algae that grows,
the crow that crows.
Thought once I,
built this wall why?
Of the two sides it presents,
which part do I rest?
Is this a protection from an invasion
or my creative contribution to my civilization?
End of time from now on,
let the events decipher its true meaning.
Maybe it would have withstood that journey,
maybe it would have supported the civilizations to come.
For my thoughts are endless,
My esteem is skyless,
My will is impregnable!
The banyan may still grow, strangling me,
yet I will not whimper; as it is life afterall.
But what if...
what if you have a wall of yours?
Will you standby me till the end of time?
Battered and bruised, yet withstood...
My wall, our home of walls!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Inspiration
How can I say the devil never inspired me?
How can I say misery never inspired me?
How can I say hatred never inspired me?
How can I say betrayal never inspired me?
How can I say failure never inspired me?
How can I ever say end of everything never inspired me?
I walk on a road ever so infusing; yet light years apart,
So imperfect,
So negative,
So destructive;
Yet so pretty,
Yet so inspirational and
Yet so lively!!!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Hunger
I once heard "bhookhe pet shayri nahi hoti" (you can't do poetry on an empty stomach). It's kinda weird as I write this thought of mine, I am hungry but I can't eat as my fridge has ran out of stocks and I can't go out now (atleast for the next 45 mins) as I have kept my laundry for drying. I am still writing, kinda similar to poetry but heck yea, I am writing empty stomach :)
I lookout for other blogs and then we discuss a blog called facehunter, where the publisher has hundreds of pictures of people around Europe, fashionable, trendy, slim and few even anorexic - eating less (thats the latest style statement). My brain picks up anything related to hunger and I started discussing with my online friend about America's obesity number, which is about 70%. How kids are hooked to sodas and fries and burgers from elementary schools.
Since my brain realizes that it is still not getting enough carbs to burn it starts to threateen me. Images of recent news flash by as how they are predicting a food crisis, immediately brain switches to pictographic mode, recalling one horrifying image of a child, malnutritioned, bent as if it is still in the womb, unable to sit upright, with a vulture right next to him.
As I stretch mylegs and I relax my back on my big leather sofa, my stomach growls again, louder this time as if cursing me. My brain is still relaxed and letting me write this little note, Quizznos is right outside the apartment complex and then there is that Deli which has different types of sandwiches and drinks and yea, I forgot, the Pizzahut is behind my apartment complex.
I lookout for other blogs and then we discuss a blog called facehunter, where the publisher has hundreds of pictures of people around Europe, fashionable, trendy, slim and few even anorexic - eating less (thats the latest style statement). My brain picks up anything related to hunger and I started discussing with my online friend about America's obesity number, which is about 70%. How kids are hooked to sodas and fries and burgers from elementary schools.
Since my brain realizes that it is still not getting enough carbs to burn it starts to threateen me. Images of recent news flash by as how they are predicting a food crisis, immediately brain switches to pictographic mode, recalling one horrifying image of a child, malnutritioned, bent as if it is still in the womb, unable to sit upright, with a vulture right next to him.
As I stretch mylegs and I relax my back on my big leather sofa, my stomach growls again, louder this time as if cursing me. My brain is still relaxed and letting me write this little note, Quizznos is right outside the apartment complex and then there is that Deli which has different types of sandwiches and drinks and yea, I forgot, the Pizzahut is behind my apartment complex.
Friday, May 23, 2008
From Shawn to Shibaji
The smell of new furniture, spic and span work stations, big colorful display boards, the brand name of a multinational company and above all the big money! These were what my sensory organs were sending to my brain as I walked inside the office of one of a startup BPO 7 years back.
As I anxiously waited for my interviews (I had 4 rounds), dreaming about the big world of a multinational company, the exposure, my eyes wandered across the workstations. Lines of desktops, fancy chairs, nice key boards but wait a minute, there is something else, on top of each and every monitor. I zoomed in on one of those hard paper based, hand written placards and read out to myself, “Chris” and then I wandered further, “Amanda…Nancy…Brad”.
“What’s that?” I asked one of the candidates who was waiting along with me.
“Oh! That’s your pseudo name, you have to change your name when you take calls because the westerners don’t understand our names well”, said the guy.
My name has been the most prized possession I ever had in my life, other than the certificates I won but they all had MY NAME written on them. That’s what I have been known for so many years!
“How can they expect me to change my name to some Brad, Alfred etc?” I protested internally!
As I was completing my post graduation in Public Relation I had plans to go into advertising. To manage my studies I worked as a student volunteer in an NGO, spreading awareness about our environment to the masses. My team would go to different schools and colleges. We would rule in the DTC buses as we moved around Delhi to do street plays at common public places like Cannaught place, India gate, PVR. I used to earn around 2000 – 2500 per month. Plus I had couple of tuitions so my monthly earning would be around 4 k and that was big money!!! I was rich with 4 k in my hand. I still remember the 25 p per glass of water, the sweltering summer heat (and cold) of Delhi! The Rs. 12/- lunch at the road side vendor, it was still fun!
“Shibaji”, came a loud voice across the waiting room and everyone looked at each other, trying to figure out who that lucky guy was, who has made it to the next round. I raised my hand.
“Please follow me”, said the sharp, well dressed, expression less lady. She was wearing a good perfume, must be expensive. I ofcourse didn’t know the brand.
“You have cleared all your rounds, the next round will be HR”, she said. With a full smile on my face, I was overjoyed as if I have made it through the Olympics qualifiers.
“I have to change my name”, echoed in my mind.
“So how much salary do you expect?” asked the HR manager.
“Hmmm…” I put up a stupid smile, “I haven’t worked in an organization like this before. I am sure you will offer me the best I deserve”. I blabbered something like that to her.
“Ok wait here”.
Again the long wait, the air condition, the trendy cafeteria but the hard paper placard, “Chris, Amanda…”.
“Congratulations!” exclaimed the HR lady as she handed over the offer letter to me, “Your CTC is 72,000 per annum, you will get pick up and drop to and from office, get coupons to spend in the cafeteria, insurance and other monetary benefits.
“Oh yes gold medal!”
Thus the journey started with the training and came the moment when we had to choose our pseudo names. My otherwise creative mind was so rebellious that it wasn’t throwing me any idea of a “good name”, my name is the best! Well it took a girl in my team to finally hand over an identity which I will follow for a long time. I didn’t rebel hard, she was too pretty.
“Six months and that’s it, no more than that of this”, was the thought.
“Thank you for calling customer care, this is Shawn, how may I assist you?” was what I started off my career in the BPO world. Initially it was either the meltdown of the rebellion or the anesthesia of the comfort I gathered. I am yet to figure out but the rebel would become less noisy day by day. Shawn was just like an unreserved passenger forcing himself in a reserved compartment asking me to adjust on my reserved seat on the assurance of traveling just to the next station. You would protest initially and then perhaps end up sharing your lunch.
Well, Shawn did get off the train after few years and Shibaji did share his lunch with him. It’s been almost 7 years in the same company for me and as the BPO world in India celebrates a decade of success, the memories are sweet. Thousands like me graduated to different roles. We became the face of the nation to the Europes and the Americas of the world. We were/are the young Indians making a mark in the business for a plentiful of fortune 500 companies. I have been to US thrice and lived for about 1.5 years cumulative and over the years I have seen the admiration for the Indian talent. It was the IT world where we reached the pinnacle and now it is the core business where we are making an impact. I am known by Shibaji or Shiva in the west and the idea of a pseudo name is alien.
As the industry graduated from transactional based work to high end analytics to business consultancy, it created assets worth millions for India and I regained my frozen asset, my name, Shibaji Das, an Indian and that’s how I am known to the world.
24-Dec-2007
As I anxiously waited for my interviews (I had 4 rounds), dreaming about the big world of a multinational company, the exposure, my eyes wandered across the workstations. Lines of desktops, fancy chairs, nice key boards but wait a minute, there is something else, on top of each and every monitor. I zoomed in on one of those hard paper based, hand written placards and read out to myself, “Chris” and then I wandered further, “Amanda…Nancy…Brad”.
“What’s that?” I asked one of the candidates who was waiting along with me.
“Oh! That’s your pseudo name, you have to change your name when you take calls because the westerners don’t understand our names well”, said the guy.
My name has been the most prized possession I ever had in my life, other than the certificates I won but they all had MY NAME written on them. That’s what I have been known for so many years!
“How can they expect me to change my name to some Brad, Alfred etc?” I protested internally!
As I was completing my post graduation in Public Relation I had plans to go into advertising. To manage my studies I worked as a student volunteer in an NGO, spreading awareness about our environment to the masses. My team would go to different schools and colleges. We would rule in the DTC buses as we moved around Delhi to do street plays at common public places like Cannaught place, India gate, PVR. I used to earn around 2000 – 2500 per month. Plus I had couple of tuitions so my monthly earning would be around 4 k and that was big money!!! I was rich with 4 k in my hand. I still remember the 25 p per glass of water, the sweltering summer heat (and cold) of Delhi! The Rs. 12/- lunch at the road side vendor, it was still fun!
“Shibaji”, came a loud voice across the waiting room and everyone looked at each other, trying to figure out who that lucky guy was, who has made it to the next round. I raised my hand.
“Please follow me”, said the sharp, well dressed, expression less lady. She was wearing a good perfume, must be expensive. I ofcourse didn’t know the brand.
“You have cleared all your rounds, the next round will be HR”, she said. With a full smile on my face, I was overjoyed as if I have made it through the Olympics qualifiers.
“I have to change my name”, echoed in my mind.
“So how much salary do you expect?” asked the HR manager.
“Hmmm…” I put up a stupid smile, “I haven’t worked in an organization like this before. I am sure you will offer me the best I deserve”. I blabbered something like that to her.
“Ok wait here”.
Again the long wait, the air condition, the trendy cafeteria but the hard paper placard, “Chris, Amanda…”.
“Congratulations!” exclaimed the HR lady as she handed over the offer letter to me, “Your CTC is 72,000 per annum, you will get pick up and drop to and from office, get coupons to spend in the cafeteria, insurance and other monetary benefits.
“Oh yes gold medal!”
Thus the journey started with the training and came the moment when we had to choose our pseudo names. My otherwise creative mind was so rebellious that it wasn’t throwing me any idea of a “good name”, my name is the best! Well it took a girl in my team to finally hand over an identity which I will follow for a long time. I didn’t rebel hard, she was too pretty.
“Six months and that’s it, no more than that of this”, was the thought.
“Thank you for calling customer care, this is Shawn, how may I assist you?” was what I started off my career in the BPO world. Initially it was either the meltdown of the rebellion or the anesthesia of the comfort I gathered. I am yet to figure out but the rebel would become less noisy day by day. Shawn was just like an unreserved passenger forcing himself in a reserved compartment asking me to adjust on my reserved seat on the assurance of traveling just to the next station. You would protest initially and then perhaps end up sharing your lunch.
Well, Shawn did get off the train after few years and Shibaji did share his lunch with him. It’s been almost 7 years in the same company for me and as the BPO world in India celebrates a decade of success, the memories are sweet. Thousands like me graduated to different roles. We became the face of the nation to the Europes and the Americas of the world. We were/are the young Indians making a mark in the business for a plentiful of fortune 500 companies. I have been to US thrice and lived for about 1.5 years cumulative and over the years I have seen the admiration for the Indian talent. It was the IT world where we reached the pinnacle and now it is the core business where we are making an impact. I am known by Shibaji or Shiva in the west and the idea of a pseudo name is alien.
As the industry graduated from transactional based work to high end analytics to business consultancy, it created assets worth millions for India and I regained my frozen asset, my name, Shibaji Das, an Indian and that’s how I am known to the world.
24-Dec-2007
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Shiv ki abhilasha
Vishdhar ko dhar kar, Vish pee kar, Vish se mai shringar karu;
Lal raqt ki lalima tyag, aaj kanth mai fir neel karu.
Prachand tandav aaj rach mai srishti ka uddhar karu!
abhilasha - desire/ambition
vishdhar - serpent
Lal raqt ki lalima tyag, aaj kanth mai fir neel karu.
Prachand tandav aaj rach mai srishti ka uddhar karu!
abhilasha - desire/ambition
vishdhar - serpent
"You will burn out if you push too hard, remember it's a marathon not a sprint."
It is practically impossible to run so fast yet desire to reach the distance;
You are limited by your human capabilities, there aren't any Supermans;
You will get so tired so soon that you will not even be able to complete the race, forget competing!
But What if...What if...
I can run like a Cheetah yet live as long as a tortoise?
What if the stand "Impossible is nothing" is truly true?
What if Supermans really exist?
What if the mind has started to unleash the remaining 90% of it's power?
What if the power which looks so colossal to put to perspective, so unimaginable to fathom, so wild to control is just as simple as a wink of an eye?
Then will you believe?
Then will you believe that...
Impossible is nothing,
Defeat is nothing,
Sadness is nothing,
Weakness is nothing
The gamut of human misery is nothing
What is real is this superlative degree of power...which you posses at the blink of your eye!
Will you believe then? Will you blink an eye with me to unleash that power to conquer for good...
I cannot judge the good and the evil...even still...
At least for once will you believe, with full faith and blink your eye to unleash that power to CONQUER anything you desire?
You are limited by your human capabilities, there aren't any Supermans;
You will get so tired so soon that you will not even be able to complete the race, forget competing!
But What if...What if...
I can run like a Cheetah yet live as long as a tortoise?
What if the stand "Impossible is nothing" is truly true?
What if Supermans really exist?
What if the mind has started to unleash the remaining 90% of it's power?
What if the power which looks so colossal to put to perspective, so unimaginable to fathom, so wild to control is just as simple as a wink of an eye?
Then will you believe?
Then will you believe that...
Impossible is nothing,
Defeat is nothing,
Sadness is nothing,
Weakness is nothing
The gamut of human misery is nothing
What is real is this superlative degree of power...which you posses at the blink of your eye!
Will you believe then? Will you blink an eye with me to unleash that power to conquer for good...
I cannot judge the good and the evil...even still...
At least for once will you believe, with full faith and blink your eye to unleash that power to CONQUER anything you desire?
Monday, May 5, 2008
Dialogue
As I explore why new born babies only cry and laugh, I find a no-brainer answer - Hey that’s the only “Language” they know to speak!
Then I ask another no-brainer, “Does a baby in Pakistan, Iraq, US, India, Africa, North pole, South Pole laugh in their respective languages?”
Huh! You must be crazy to ask that ridiculous question! Of course there is no language for laughing and crying!
“So how do they pray to God? I mean they must have to call out Bhagwan, Allah, God or something, else how will the almighty hear them?”
Now that’s nonsensical too! How can you expect babies to call out names of different Gods when they can just laugh and cry? They can’t even say that they need food!
“Oh then babies must be really sad all the time as they are not blessed!”
Are you kidding me? Babies are the most loved most cared ones! Everybody loves them; they can put a smile on a stranger’s face and melt the toughest guy with their innocuous smile and twinkle in their eyes!
“But babies’ brains are the least developed as compared to an adult.”
Oh! Finally you are talking sense! Yes of course, babies’ brains are least developed and they need to learn a million things to become a real grown up intelligent human being! Only then he can learn his real language, earn money to have food, the name of the country he belongs to, which religious deity he needs to pray to, before that he is just a stupid lil fella ahahahhaah, don’t you agree?
“Oh yea, that’s true.”
Then I ask another no-brainer, “Does a baby in Pakistan, Iraq, US, India, Africa, North pole, South Pole laugh in their respective languages?”
Huh! You must be crazy to ask that ridiculous question! Of course there is no language for laughing and crying!
“So how do they pray to God? I mean they must have to call out Bhagwan, Allah, God or something, else how will the almighty hear them?”
Now that’s nonsensical too! How can you expect babies to call out names of different Gods when they can just laugh and cry? They can’t even say that they need food!
“Oh then babies must be really sad all the time as they are not blessed!”
Are you kidding me? Babies are the most loved most cared ones! Everybody loves them; they can put a smile on a stranger’s face and melt the toughest guy with their innocuous smile and twinkle in their eyes!
“But babies’ brains are the least developed as compared to an adult.”
Oh! Finally you are talking sense! Yes of course, babies’ brains are least developed and they need to learn a million things to become a real grown up intelligent human being! Only then he can learn his real language, earn money to have food, the name of the country he belongs to, which religious deity he needs to pray to, before that he is just a stupid lil fella ahahahhaah, don’t you agree?
“Oh yea, that’s true.”
Sunday, May 4, 2008
For the “misconstrued arrogance”
I tried to write a poem, with all those beautiful mushy words, with flowers and stars and dreams and fairies but then I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted to talk about you! So let me share with you as what I think of you in simple, realistic words, close to the world :)
The memories etched in my mind of you remind me a radiant, smiling face with hair cascading like a stream through the green mountains....
I can still feel the serenity you carried as you walked inside and I saw you the first time, it has been years and still I can feel the freshness...
The fact of your existence coupled with your non-existence (i.e. hardly meeting me), made you an enigmatic figure for me, like a fragrance, I want to capture, in vain...
As I turn back pages of my life to write these few lines about you, I can feel time rushing back in super fast motion, it freezes and focuses just on your smiling face...
I see your smile, I smile and then I rush forward to present to find myself smile, ah! who says time travel isn’t possible, look through my eyes...
I wish I could see far down the future to see what it beholds for you but then again, what’s the fun if we know what’s there for us, where will the word "excitement" rest, if we know it all? :)
So my enigmatic friend of the fairy land, I can only wish a great future for you, as you sail through this second reading this to the next thinking about it to the next till you move on...Bon voyage! :o)
May peace be with you always, happiness wont be far :o)
The memories etched in my mind of you remind me a radiant, smiling face with hair cascading like a stream through the green mountains....
I can still feel the serenity you carried as you walked inside and I saw you the first time, it has been years and still I can feel the freshness...
The fact of your existence coupled with your non-existence (i.e. hardly meeting me), made you an enigmatic figure for me, like a fragrance, I want to capture, in vain...
As I turn back pages of my life to write these few lines about you, I can feel time rushing back in super fast motion, it freezes and focuses just on your smiling face...
I see your smile, I smile and then I rush forward to present to find myself smile, ah! who says time travel isn’t possible, look through my eyes...
I wish I could see far down the future to see what it beholds for you but then again, what’s the fun if we know what’s there for us, where will the word "excitement" rest, if we know it all? :)
So my enigmatic friend of the fairy land, I can only wish a great future for you, as you sail through this second reading this to the next thinking about it to the next till you move on...Bon voyage! :o)
May peace be with you always, happiness wont be far :o)
Looking Beyond
When I look beyond,
Violence isn't in bloodshed, it's in the assassination of the soul;
Pain isn't in tears, it's in the untold;
Happiness isn't in laughter, it's in feeling the spirit of life;
Strength isn't in the nukes, it's in growing a blade of grass under the same white umbrella;
As I walk on, I soak in life in it's totality and live for another moment, celebrating this one with you!
Violence isn't in bloodshed, it's in the assassination of the soul;
Pain isn't in tears, it's in the untold;
Happiness isn't in laughter, it's in feeling the spirit of life;
Strength isn't in the nukes, it's in growing a blade of grass under the same white umbrella;
As I walk on, I soak in life in it's totality and live for another moment, celebrating this one with you!
Black
…It’s existence is in it’s non-existence
…It’s existence is in the universe
It’s existence is Nothing but Everything…Black
Ah! It stirs up the chords somewhere deep; depth… is also Black.
I gaze at my Black Honda, drenched by the lashes of a tropical storm, Black glitters, Alas! The pure White right beside it doesn’t touch me.
As I write this, the power fails…the transformer blew up and I am in darkness - Black, I am in Black! The light flickers…temporarily conquering the Black but the protagonist looms, lingers outside my window and rushes in whenever it gets a chance! Like the predator.
Actually, it looms out in the distant sky…Black – with the stars! Who would have ever called them diamonds if it wasn’t the Black?
Black is evil
Black is sad
Black is funeral
Black is black magic
Black is dark
Black is deep
But then Black is presence of Nothing, Black is “black hole” embracing everything, everyone, even light is humbled by it’s power, even light is attracted to it!
As it duels in my mind…
Black is Everything!
Black is Nothing!
Oh Black!
You are my companion
You don’t make me lonely
You are my deep dark secret
You scare me
You make me mystical
You make me elegant
You make me dark
You make me nothing
You make me everything
I am Black I am Black
Black!
…It’s existence is in the universe
It’s existence is Nothing but Everything…Black
Ah! It stirs up the chords somewhere deep; depth… is also Black.
I gaze at my Black Honda, drenched by the lashes of a tropical storm, Black glitters, Alas! The pure White right beside it doesn’t touch me.
As I write this, the power fails…the transformer blew up and I am in darkness - Black, I am in Black! The light flickers…temporarily conquering the Black but the protagonist looms, lingers outside my window and rushes in whenever it gets a chance! Like the predator.
Actually, it looms out in the distant sky…Black – with the stars! Who would have ever called them diamonds if it wasn’t the Black?
Black is evil
Black is sad
Black is funeral
Black is black magic
Black is dark
Black is deep
But then Black is presence of Nothing, Black is “black hole” embracing everything, everyone, even light is humbled by it’s power, even light is attracted to it!
As it duels in my mind…
Black is Everything!
Black is Nothing!
Oh Black!
You are my companion
You don’t make me lonely
You are my deep dark secret
You scare me
You make me mystical
You make me elegant
You make me dark
You make me nothing
You make me everything
I am Black I am Black
Black!
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